Birkie/Korte 2010: What Went Wrong?

A RECAP OF THE EVENTS OF FEBRUARY 27TH, 2010, NEAR THE TELEMARK LODGE:

Scraps Near the Korte Finish Line.

First, let me hang my head in sadness. I did not win the Korte.

Second, let me add that I never promised to win.

Third, ’twas a beautiful day:

Just after the 1st Wave has left.

Fourth, I was harassed by three teenage 7th Wavers for 20 of my 23 kilometers. I got hung up in traffic on a hill, and could not catch them again. They beat me by about a minute….or so.

Fifth, without the wonderful company of these youngsters, without their camaraderie, without their cajoling, I would never have ripped it like I did. Thanks guys!

Sixth, I love the 7th Wave! Passing people is an art and an obligation. Proper technique and etiquette must be observed.

Seventh, I love Hayward and Cable, but most of all, I love Spooner!

Eighth, the flats were fast, but the hills were sugar and mashed potatoes and day-old rice. Pick your carbo analogy!

Ninth, you still don’t know how I did, do you?

Tenth, I clocked 1:22:40. That’s good for 12th out of 57 in my age group (40-44).  You can check the Iowa results here. Or, you can check the results here. So, that means that I crushed my goal of placing in the top half of my age category. And that means that you, my dear readers, must buy me that rib trophy that I mentioned a week ago. Huzzah! Did I mention 3:36 per km? Ker-pow!

Eleventh, back down on earth for a sec… the race was not an unmitigated success. I could have gone faster. I spent so much energy passing people, weaving in and out, stopping for falling skiers, that I really believe that I skied an extra 4 kilometers.

Twelfth, I have to thank my sponsors: Dot, Clara, Katie, Geoff’s Bike and Ski, the waxers. Then there’s my travel partner Brian–who kicked it live in the Birkie Classic: from 8th Wave to 2nd Wave–double Huzzah! Thanks to my training crew: Wayne, Hodge, Brett, Rock, Steve, Finn, Grant, Jason, and all the other Ski Punks at Ashton.

Thirteenth, I want to think Angler’s for being such a ski-friendly place:

Miss Birkie and Crew Operate the Shotski at Angler's

Fourteenth, don’t forget to put on the storage wax.

Fifteenth, how do I ride this thing in my garage with two skinny tires? What is it called again?

Sixteenth, forget the bike! I’m gonna get some v2 rollerskis and start training this weekend for next year.

Peace and Wisconsin Cheese,

Scraps

IT’S ON: BIRKIE DAY ONE: CITIZEN SPRINTS; OR BRING ON THE HEAT

A Picturesque Shack next to Telemark Lodge in Cable, Wisconsin. I recommend Telemark highly.

Hot and Fast at Telemark Lodge in Cable, Wisconsin.

The snow was a bit warm: 25 F.

The trail was very firm: you can use your tiny baskets.

The crowd was amped: and who wouldn’t be?

Brian and I took a 5 km spin to check wax.

And the results were confidence-building. In a word: DIALED!

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But let’s talk competition:

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO SPRINT ON SKATE SKIS?

It is hard my friends… my readers.

But you must drive toward the thing that makes you anxious. You must do so in order to conquer it. Mastering that which seeks to crush is the way to heaven…or to the finish line. I am not fast, I cannot sprint, I barely know how to V2, and I don’t know how to start with that churning mix of V1 and whatever. But I did it anyway. I was not trying to win. I was trying to put the hurt on mine enemy: anxiety.

And I made the podium: Third out of a field of three.

The roar of the crowd was deafening.

Bouuuyah! Did I spell that right?

I love skiing.

See you skater fakers. See you tomorrow Korte pretenders. I love you and I will crush you… in a kind and loving way.

Peace,

Scraps

Birkie Time!

Well folks, it is now time for the Birkie.

Or, in my case, the Korte.

If I can’t win–and I can’t–then I will try to score style points this weekend. I might go for Tord’s low-rider-skier look:

Maybe this look helped Tord come in 28th place in the pursuit

Or, I might just go for the low-rider-slider look:

What kind of wax do I use?

Or, if you really want to meld Biker to Skier…and yet take athleticism completely out of the picture….then you might consider this soon-to-be-an-Olympic sport: Motorsnowcling:

Motorsnowclists always recycle their oil and wax

I hope to have fresh stories and pics and vids soon.

Pax and Super Flouro Ski Wax!

Scraps